Repu celebrates her third anniversary in Szaloncicaország

Existenchatlisme

“Moi? Je suis un existenchatliste” replies Tallinn when Cicabácsi asks him why he is scratching the carpet.  It is true that it would be difficult to gather from that concise “meh!” of Tallinn such a serious statement, but that is Cicabácsi´s fault and not Tallinn´s. That is why he continues to scratch, bored, bored of repetitive life with no apparent purpose. Cicabácsi has come up with the strange idea that Tallinn is depressed. Certainly not. Tallinn then retires to its thinking chair, although he never thinks sitting on it, but under it, in the Salon of Szaloncicaország. There, alone, he meditates. There he was, yesterday night, right after midnight, reflecting on that on the arrival of the new morning he will be three years old, and so will be her sister, República. 3 years now. And what is that he does?, thinks Tallinn. Chasing her sister up and down the stairs, not seeking pleasure but urged by a dark force inside him, irrational, irresistible, unavoidable, like a feline Sisyphus. Her sister, up there on the tree she must be, sleeping, possibly dreaming about escaping again to the roof of the Ország, trying to reach the Torony. Liberty? She may be dreaming of it. She has read too much Friedrich Nietzscica, she may think she is beyond good and kutyák. Is liberty an option? Are we free? Tallinn is getting sleepy; his kicsi mind is getting tired of thinking too much. He may have acquired too much cica consciousness, he may have lost the spontaneity of a kitten, or just feeling anxious about this new phase of his life: adulthood.  He starts dreaming. In his dreams his existenchatlisme receeds, vanishes. His unconscious remembers too, dreams of these three years with Cicanéni and Cicabácsi in Szaloncicaország. They haven´t had such a terrible life! Yes, true, they have been abandoned in the Hotel every Christmas and every summer, but it was for a few weeks, and Cicanéni and Cicabácsi always returned after holidays and caressed them, and kiss them. They were not abandoned. We eat and we play, we ronron, and we roll on the carpet, belly up. After all, isn´t this the proof that we must feel well here in this Ország? Cicabácsi shouts everytime Repu tries to continue her sculpting career transforming the sofa into an imitation of an Alberto Giacometti sculpture, it is true. And Cicanéni complains when I wake her up at 5am demanding some food and some love. But don´t we get that food and love? Don´t we manage to scratch again every day? Tallinn smiles in his dream, groans a bit, opens one eye, thinks of convincing República to at least say sorry to Sofa Úr next time. He thinks that tomorrow, if Cicabácsi and Cicanéni give them their treats for their birthday he will say “meh!” Cicabácsi and Cicanéni will not understand it, as usual, but he would have thanked them.

Happy birthday, Tallinn and Repu!

The kicsik of Szaloncicaország have turned 2 years old. They are celebrating their birthday the best way they know, indulging in general mischief and nurturing their already obvious gömbölyűség. Instead of developing cica consciousness attending the Ország Egyetem they have acquired distinctive personalities, celebrated and feared in the same measure by the inhabitants of the Ország. Cicanéni and Cicabácsi contemplate them everyday in their hardly fought battles against seagull feathers and specially their mortal enemy, the everywhere present carpet. Their scratching abilities have no rival after these two years.

Dispite being siblings, each of them is a distinctive individuality. Princess Repu, gifted with a melodius voice has a tendency to roll over any minute. But probably what she really shines at is her love for the archaeology of the invisible. There is no corner, void, hole, unattended space in the Ország that she would not explore in search of the invisible presence that must have been filling it for decades, years or just minutes. She returns from these scientific expeditions with the air in her trembling whiskers that a big discovery has been made (anti-matter perhaps, an echo of a lost symphony, or the spirit of a melancholic mouse, long ago eaten by previous feline hunters?). Nobody knows. Her most risky expeditions are those involving climbing to impossible places; sometimes she stands on top of ladders, bookshelves or wardrobes, looking up, projecting her whiskers to invisible heights, probably more tempting. Or she may be considering adding to her scientific career that of the astronomer of ceilings.

Fekete Tallinn is not such a big lover of verticality, he prefers horizontality, as he proves running after her sister. In this two years he has developed an impressive body: this is the reason why Cicanéni insists on calling him Párduc Tallinn. Every morning he is the first to salute the new day, even when the sun is still not shining out there. Much to Cicanéni and Cicabácsi chagrin, Tallinnn insists on communicating his happiness about the new day, like if he was surprised that a new day has been granted to the world. He also takes the opportunity of demanding the first meal of the day and some comforting caresses. His early antics, akin to those of a dilligent cock, made Cicabácsi insist on the gazda origins of Tallinn. But this is a matter of a controversy between Cicanéni and Cicabácsi that cannot be discussed now.

Evenings are for short and intense dialogues between Cicabácsi and Fekete Tallinn. It must be said that it is in this exchanges that Párduc Tallinn manifests clearly his stoicism and sober vision of the world (in contrast with his exuberant and talkative sister); indeed, Tallinn always replies with very concise words, precise like some aphorism from Wittgenstein. Usually it is just a single, sharp word. Be. Meg. Sometimes even “még”. Have you finished scratching the carpet? “Be”, replies Párduc Tallinn. Why are you trying to run up the curtain? Have you become crazy? “Meg”, replies Tallinn (and Cicabácsi would swear there is an ironic grin on Tallinn´s face). Are you going to stop scratching the carpet? “Még”, replies Tallinn, while he shakes his head, replacing an unuttered “nem”. Cicabácsi surrenders himself, finally, with equal stoicism, if you want: “Azért szeretlek, Tallinn”.

Presidential elections in Szaloncicaország

The New Miau Times reports that Szaloncica has decided to celebrate the birthday of Tallinn and Repu, the youngest citizens of Szaloncicaország by calling elections this Saturday 19^th of April. Repu and Tallinn are now one year old and the ruler of Szaloncicaország has wisely decided that it is time for them to be actively involved in the public life of the Ország. According to the reports, Tallinn has saluted the decision with a concise “meh!”, his usual expression, unless he demands to be let in the kitchen when his vocal abilities achieve their full potential through a vast array of different mourning miaus. Repu has received the decision while resting at the top of her comfortable shrine with an imperceptible nod that to those unfamiliar with the Princess Repu will appear as a nonchalant disregard for mundane things. But the inhabitants of Szaloncicaország know well that his attitude masks an intense interest in the well-being of the Ország, as her fierce defense of the territory against anyone who dares to peak through the windows proves.

The Sunday Miau offers this weekend a complete illustrated reportage on the first year of life of the cicák in Szaloncicaország. In an interview Tallinn details his favourite spots for pusztíting, how he escapes the ire of Cicabácsi when he discovers the missing parts of the carpet, his agricultural efforts when the time for harvest arrives, etc. Readers can appreciate the devotion of this young gazda for socks and other pieces of clothing that he brings down the torony for being presented to Cicabácsi. In another interview Princess Repu expresses her hopes that the expansion of the inhabitants of Szaloncicaország already known as the “circus” will continue, extending the aesthetic seal of the presence of the cicák in every corner of the Ország. For those unfamiliar with this term, the “circus” defines the series of objects brought by Cicabácsi and Cicanéni for the entertaining of the cicák. They include multiple plastic balls, seagull feathers tied to a plastic wand, a tall tree that the kicsik climb and use for sleeping, staring at the void with a pensive expression or just dominate with their discerning gaze the surroundings, etc. etc.

Returning now to the political events in Szaloncicaország the two parties that compete in the elections have just released their political manifestos. In his manifesto “For a better Szaloncicaország”, the leader of the Szaloncica Party, Szaloncica, guarantees the maintenance of his efforts for keeping the Ország free of kutya presence, as well as his intention to provide Princess Repu with suspenders for helping her maintain in shape her otherwise gyönyörũ has. Rumours have spread in the Ország about Cicanéni's opposition to the introduction and use of suspenders in Szaloncicaország. Polls indicate that the vote of Cicanéni will be for the Opposition Party. As mentioned before, the Opposition Party, led by Szaloncica, has also published his manifesto: “For a better Szaloncicaország, too”. The Opposition Party has showed his acute sense of modern politics and has immediately included in the political manifesto the banning of the use of suspenders in the entire Ország. Another political measure that has attracted the attention of the Ország has been the proposal of more spaces for free pusztíting. It is rumoured that this measure is devised for attracting the vote of Tallinn, but the most reputed political analysts, including Szaloncica, has acknowledged that this proposal may alienate the vote of Cicabácsi, always worried about discovering new marks in the carpets of the pusztíting activities of the young gazda.

At this point of the political campaign, that will conclude in a few hours, the political outcome of the elections is uncertain. The above mentioned political analyst, Szaloncica, has released his latest poll, predicting a tie, with the votes of Cicanéni and Tallin for the Opposition Party and the votes of Repu and Cicabácsi for Szaloncica, the current ruler of Szaloncicaország. As it is known, Szaloncica, the current ruler of Szaloncicaország, has made public his wish of remaining impartial and abstain from voting.

Given this confusing situation, according to the Constitution of Szaloncicaország, the Supreme Tribunal of Szaloncicaország, led by the Most Honorable Szaloncica, may decide with a quality vote the political future of the Ország.

The last hours of this intense political campaign are now about to finish. The undecided nature of this political situation has paralysed the nation that lives with anxiety this historical moment.

Repu and Tallinn: six month anniversary

The Kicsik have turned 6 months today. In recognition, they have been treated with a succulent portion of milk for cicák. Still young, a couple of teenagers, actually, Repu and Tallinn are full of energy and an inexhaustible capacity for all forms of mischief. In Szaloncicaország the education of its youngest citizens is taken very seriously. Both of them attend courses in Szaloncicaország Nemzeti Egyetem. Cicanéni teaches there Cica Consciousness and Házimacskaság Studies. In an exclusive interview for The New Miau Times Cicanéni celebrates the progress of both cica but also acknowledges the challenges that still lie ahead. For instance, Repu shows a slightly worrying tendency to meditate inside the sink, with the consequent risk of getting wet. Tallinn on his part, is incurring in the so called Ourobouros Syndrome. Cicanéni explains that Tallin's insistence on chasing his tale may be due to a lack of understanding about the philosophical and existential limits of cicaness. In other words, Tallinn does not know where a cica begins and where it ends. Their evolution though is in general, satisfactory and the inevitable outbreaks of mischief are treated with physical exercise. This therapy and form of cica physical training comprises the use of the blue thing (a scratching pole) and the green thing (green feathers attached to one of the ends of a long, tiny plastic pole). As anecdote, Cicanéni has documented the emergence of a vague religious conscience in the cicák. She has observed that as soon as Tallinn catches the green thing with his sharp teeth, he parades it, firmly held in his mouth, around the Ország. He is closely followed by Repu, who actually bites the opposite end of the pole, marching at the same pace than her brother, both firmly holding the green thing. In this guise, they resemble a funerary parade, honouring the death of green mythical birds, bravely chased by the cicák in their hunting fantasies. Cicanéni hopes to report soon about more significant signs of progress of this nagyon jó cicák. Until then, the entire Ország wishes them success in their studies and congratulates them in such an important day in their kicsi biographies.

The new inhabitants of Szaloncicaország

Repu and Tallinn in the Szalon, in a moment of relaxation, before starting new forms of mischief.

Repu acquiring Cica Consciousness

In Praise of the Flat Line

Cicabácsi

    In Szaloncicaország there also live Cicanéni and Cicabácsi. A funny couple of cicák, they live together in their torony, looking over a park. They laugh together at the silly barks in the park, they cook lecsó, they venture in the town sometimes. Cicanéni makes sure they don't miss any interesting film in the local theatre and Cicabácsi insists on visiting the local record shop convinced that new wonderful recorded music could appear at any moment. Their happy life is not certainly the kind of “happy” life in which agreement on all issues is a synonym of boredom. On the contrary, they have different views about fundamental aspects, aspects of philosophical nature, actually. Take for example the world of physics and geometry. They don't agree on the value conceded to “horizontal” and its opposite, “vertical”. The torony has witnessed endless discussions about the nature of these concepts, its relevance in history and culture. They exemplify their points in their wanderings around the park and the little hill that is at the centre of it. At this point it must be said that of the two is Cicanéni the real wanderer cica, while Cicabácsi is more of a házimacska, and therefore prone to favour a good sofa instead of a good walk. Certainly, it is not difficult to guess who defends the prominence of one of the concepts in discussion over the other. Cicanéni proves the relevance of verticality with a practical case: historically, climbing hills and mountains has been inseparable of heroic acts, like Hannibal traversing the Pirenees, or Edmund Hillary conquering the Everest. Even if Cicabácsi could accept the heroism of Hannibal -too taxing for an old cat, anyway-, he is sceptical about any sort of competition - “all that time to go up the Everest for taking a picture with a kicsi flag and then going down immediately for avoiding freezing to death?”, claims Cicabácsi-. But Cicanéni is totally convinced: climbing, such a cicalike activity, by the way, underlines Cicanéni, has provided irrefutable troves, gratifying surprises that even Cicabácsi should admit. For instance, she insists that magic bars exist on top of the highest hill in the area, near the park. Cicabácsi, sceptical as always, insists that the only magic bar he knows lays inside their fridge.

     One day, though, the couple finally agreed on proving their points and adventurously wandered to that hill with its supposedly magic bar. Too far away from their torony, complained Cicabácsi; not so far, lusta cica, replied Cicanéni. After finding their way up the hill, under the July sun, not as strong as it could have been expected, the two cicák achieved the summit. “Semmi”, said Cicabácsi. “But look at the view”, replied Cicanéni. And it was true that the river Tej was visible, that even a nice old ship was anchored in the harbour and its masts looked great against the blue sea to which the firth of the Tej leads. But Cicanéni could not hide that there was not magic bar to be seen. Insisting that the bar decided not to manifest itself that day was not very convincing, either. Instead of the magic bar a boring monolith dedicated to the victims of some distant and heroic war was erected on top of the hill.

     The atmosphere in the torony that evening after their return from the hill was somehow strange. Cicabácsi hardly managed to refrain his satisfaction: the dispute seemed to be settled, once and for all. Cicanéni could hardly show how szomorú she was, how disappointed about the lack of magic bar on the top of the hill. After a couple of beers from the only real magic bar, as Cicabácsi pointed out, this old cat felt victorious. “Nagyon jó ötlet!”, suddenly shouted Cicabácsi. “What is it?”, said Cicanéni. “You will see”, replied with a smile the old cat. He went to the park at night and dragged a heavy stone from somewhere in the park. He worked all night on the stone, with hammers and other tools that a sculptor would use, probably. The next morning he presented his work to Cicanéni. “But, what is it?”, she asked, stupefied in front of a rectangular long stone lying on the ground in the garden. “This is an horizontal obelisk”, replied Cicabácsi. She understood: it was his way of celebrating his triumph, an horizontal monument, commemoration, like those dedicated -erected would not be the right word, probably-, to ancient heroes. Cicanéni noted there was no writing on the obelisk. She smiled. “Szép!”, she said. “But the piece is unfinished and we need to find its proper place, where this horizontal obelisk can shine, be admired, celebrated....” She paused. Cicabácsi nodded afirmatively. “Let's bring it to the top of the hill -said Cicanéni- and we will engrave on it «In Praise of the Flat Line».